Monday, February 28, 2011

Post the Fifty-First: No Sleep Tonight

Godfuckingdamnit

It's getting really hard to not overanalyze stuff when it seems to scream HOLY CRAP BALLS HE LIKES YOU

Okay. So. Long story short, recently I went to a birthday party. The guy I liked was there. Towards the end of the night when it was getting chill and quiet and I was kind of bored/sad, we were sitting beside each other on the couch. He sang the first line of a song that we both like to me, just quiet enough so I could hear it. No one else in the room even knew the song, and he's DEFINITELY not the type to randomly sing. I sort of giggled and glanced over at him, and he was looking away, smiling. I figured he just wanted to cheer me up. Kind of potentially romantic but also definitely potentially platonic.

I have problems with overanalyzing little moments and building them up to much more than they are and just getting hurt later, so I tried to not think about it too hard.

Here's the rub: I couldn't remember what song it was. It was an artist I've recently started to like who has an extensive discography, and it was a song I definitely recognized but didn't place.

Today, I realized what song it was as I was about to go to bed, listening to my iPod and dancing around as I got ready for bed. It was a fucking love song. The artist we both like does NOT write many love songs. I think he has like 5 love songs in total, out of his 80 or so songs.

What. The. Shit.

One could easily dismiss this as just being a random song that was stuck in his head that he knew I liked, which I'm trying very very hard to do. But, to be honest... there's been a LOT of stuff that I've been dismissing as coincidence. So much stuff that I can't really silence the little voice in my head that says that it isn't a coincidence, no matter how hard I try to silence it.

Fucking fuck. I told myself I would not get this into him, that I wouldn't allow myself to hope anything would happen.

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